How To Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend

Breaking up with your ex can be a terrible experience to go through, and after some time has passed you may well realise you you want them back, and need to figure out some strategies of how to go about doing exactly that. At this point though you do need to step back and realise that what you were doing at the end of the relationship was not the same as what you did at the beginning (quite clearly or you wouldn’t have ended up splitting up). So now is a good opportunity to re-assess what went well and what went badly and get to re-experience the magic of making up. In this article I am going to talk about one very important factor of that which is often glossed over by many get ex back style guides, but which actually lies at the heart of why you got together and why you eventually split up. Namely the subject of attraction. I am also going to discuss the biological imperative behind relationships and how you can turn it to your advantage by understanding it, and learning to press her evolutionary buttons.

Lets say that you first met your ex girlfriend in a club (you may not have done, but the principals remain the same). You went up to her and said hi, got chatting and things moved on from there. How does this relate to attraction and pressing emotional trigger points to win back her heart speedily? Well, in a room of guys by stepping forward and saying hi, you are subconsciously communicating that you are a leader amongst men. Now, that may sound far-fetched, but actually it is the exact truth. The reason it is true is that physically and emotionally humans have not developed much from their cave man ancestry. In evolutionary terms we are still in the mouth of the cave wondering where our next meal is going to come from. We are in fight or flight mode much of the time, and when we aren’t we are thinking up ways to get our next meal.

The thing is that despite thinking that that is somehow in the past and that we don’t have to worry too much about what was true for cavemen (Hey Dude! Haven’t you heard? This is the 21st Century!). The truth is that in evolutionary terms nothing much has changed. And that whilst the meeting places may be fancier the techniques to win a woman back are surprisingly similar. In truth, when it comes to women we are still very much living in our animal skins standing at the mouth of a cave. Namely, that most men still have an enormous fear of rejection that is out of all proportion to the potential risks involved and that this is primarily grounded in biological mechanisms that cause us to have fears of the consequences of being rejected by women.

Women are hence heavily triggered into feelings of attraction to any guy that can pluck up courage and come and say hi. It is almost irrelevant what the final outcome of the interaction is. If you go and say hi, then in her eyes, and in her heart your status amongst that group of males has immediately soared. What this all means for the breakup experience and getting back with your ex is that you need to start to tap into these psychological trigger points that are hard-wired into all of us. You need to show that you are the pack leader. That you are the alpha male of the group, and that yours is a ‘tribe’ that she should want to return to.

Once you know that fact then it makes it that much easier to figure out strategies to reconnect with your ex. It becomes clearer why you can’t act like a wuss, or phone her ten times a day. None of those actions are the actions of a leader and it is time that you stepped up to the plate and demonstrated who you really are. A good first step is actually to minimise contact with your ex-girlfriend. This might seem counter-intuitive (especially as you want to get back with her!) But what you need to realise is that if you are too available to her now that you have broken up, that there is a very real risk of slipping into the dreaded ‘friends zone’ where she unburdens all the crap and grief about her life onto your shoulders, but you don’t get any of the payoff in terms of love energy! Forget that. You want the good stuff. If you cut yourself off from her then you have every opportunity of moving things forward more quickly.